Tuesday, March 26, 2013

its a happier life

Today is a gorgeous day. The sun is out and its warm enough for shoes with no socks ;-);-). We just took our lab/retriever mix to the beach and it was so relaxing. My mind feels so much lighter to not be inside hiding from the cold dreary weather.

Today is another overnight for my baby girls and I realize her father and I have become... Well... I think we are friends. How did this happen? I believe we both may be in on this, but I know for myself, I have been letting more and more go. I must say it is hard, but ultimately I know that letting as much go as I can is going to help us all in the long run! As hard as it is to let the things I feel are important go I have to or I wont be doing my part in helping Olive have to happy healthy parents.

I am a whole half of the parenting system and I can keep that whole half in whatever role I chose, I chose to be a happy, healthy adult parent. Every time I let something go or do my part to make things easy I am also keeping the other party from trouble. If I chose to pick at everything he did wrong he would have the option to fight as well, but by avoiding any and all fights on my part I am not even giving that him the option, though it seems we are both thinking a little more every time we see each other about how we can do that! If I let my end go, though, it either makes it harder for him to hold up his end, or it gives him a wide open door to the trouble we were in before.

In parenting of any kind you really have to think about how big of a deal is what you are about to try and fix? Is what you are about to say or do really going to affect what already happened? I always got into this mind set that if I didn't tell him right away, for some reason, something bad would happen, but in reality I was just go into things too soon leaving him confused and me still feeling like I didn't get anywhere with what I said. I need to give it some thought and think about how big of a deal was it really and whats the major point I really need to make. This not only saves me from feeling lost, frustrated and still needing to address the actual matter, but also gives me time to find the appropriate place to address it, like not with my baby in the middle of the situation where we both are upset!

Once I think it through, lately, I find a lot of it just isn't important enough to vocalize. The other night he called and said he had taken her to do some work stuff and I said nothing, planning on saying something when he arrived with her. When he arrived at my house not only had I kind of forgotten about it but he was dressed in clothes that proved to me whatever work he was doing, he doubtfully needed to be far from her and wasn't messing with anything that would prevent him from being a good parent. I have just realized that not only will God protect her, but she has a good father and though he is not a trained professional, he loves her and will do his best to give her what is best... plus I think he knows bad things will happen if he did anything beyond stupid!

I am so happy and thankful with ow things are going and I can only hope nothing messes this up, though there are always new hurdles to jump in any situation and this ones not set up for ease!

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