Monday, July 1, 2013

shoes baby shoes

Its time for somebaby to get some shoes!! We have been practicing walking a ton and now I feel like these little test need some support! I have been searching online with no luck, I dont know what shoes will be best for her teeny tiny feet!

I would like a pair of sandals but sneakers might be more supportive so now I feel I might have to take her out and shop with her. She loves shopping hut we have never shopped for anything she had to try on. I am excited for our first real baby shopping trip and also excited for some cute baby shoes. If anyone has any advice that would be greatly appreciated and I will update this post when I have some shoes to show :-D:-D

Monday, June 17, 2013

failure

What really is failure? When I looked it up online I found it to mean unsuccessful, subnormal quantity or quality. Lately I feel like I am working at subnormal quality. I have a job that I can only do so much at, I have no car, bare minimum in basically everything, and I'm running around in a fantasy world thinking things will all work out but I won't have to lift a finger to make it. As the days wind on I have been finding myself breaking down more often. My flaws have been magnified by my family and my inability to be a better mom is growing harder to ignore.

I live a pretty easy happy life, but everyday, in every decision i make, there are at least 3 people mocking each of my decisions and making me feel less than the mom i want to be. I think in every mom story there are moments where she just doesn't feel good enough, or like she is doing the right thing, and as i write this I feel oddly encouraged to look my audience of hecklers in the face and tell them to squeeze out their own human being and make the choices for them but this is my child and I am doing a fine job!

I love being a mom. I love ge smiles and hugs I get from the child I care for, I love watching her grow and learn new things. It hurts sometimes, having to let her go, watching her walk away crying, but I know that with each tear there are millions more smiles and cute picture. I just have to keep looking onward at the baby I am making and stop watching the family around me who doesn't always know what's best.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

9 months

Oh my goodness. I cannot believe it has been over 9 months since Olive was born. She is 9 months old. Can i just say as much as this is by far my favorite stage of life it is also the most EXHAUSTING!!

She is into everything and wants to be everywhere. She loves to be held but has to be moving, i just want her to walk already.

Do not tell me "oh believe me you don't because...". I have already heard it and i do not care. She is already into everything and on top of that she has to always be walking which means i have to hold her hands all day helping her walk while I'm hunched over in pain or listen to her grunt and fuss... Ya I'd rather her walk.

She chatters up a storm, tries to sing, claps, kisses and has taken enough steps that she is so close to be ling a walker. 9 months certainly is a crazy age, but man i don't want her to grow... Well walk then freeze! 3 more months and my tiny baby is a year old. Eek!!!!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Finally a JOB!!

Tomorrow, Oli and I start our first real job since the month before I had her.

Before I became a mother I was a nanny. When I told them I was pregnant they had every intention of keeping me after I had my baby, but only a week later they found out they were also expecting a new arrival, so their other two children would have to adjust to a new baby without me, or two with me so I thought it best for me to not shock their home like that and they found a new nanny the month before I had my daughter.

I have always had the easiest time finding a job but as a mom planning to bring her young child to work it has been a really hard task. I have been searching now for 9 months(ya i started looking immediately after having my daughter) and just the other day(Saturday) finally got an official job!! I am beyond excited to be a working mom. I will be working in the nursery of a local gym with one of my good friends. Olive will be around other kids and her dad so.etimes works on the gardens outside. I just want everyone to know GOD IS SOOO GOOD.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

lazy mama

Lately this mama has blogged 0% of her true potential ;-);-). I hqve had time, I have had topics, I just haven't wanted to blog with no pictures. Picasa and blogger dont yet have apps for my windows phone and it just breaks my heart ;-);-).

Alas I have decided I cannot continue to neglect my blog. So here's a little update:

My younger brother known here as "Cle Smoke Stack" has returned from his bicycle trip from Maine to Minneapolis in an attempt to save out tumor ridden Labrador from the needle, but sadly his old doggy body could not handle the surgery and he passed away on Tuesday morning. He was a great dog and will be missed. Uncle Smoke stack spent all of his money on out dear Nemo and now must remain home looming for a job and skipping his bicycle tour guide training. Its been nice having home though.

My sweet baby girl has grown and taken her first steps at a mere 8 1/2 months. I am nervous for the walking faze since she already wont slow down to a walking pace in her beginner steps :-/. She is o er joyed to be on her own and I know we are all in for it.

Her daddy and her have been bonding. He and I have spent quite a bit of time conversation about her and our parenting together but separate seems to be working out quite nicely. The next 18 years should be a breeze in that department. We still have some little separation anxiety to work on for the little one, but nothing looks impossible from my new perspective.

I am job hunting, which just seems over whelming, but having a job will be more than worth it.

I have been sewing amd painting up a storm. Hope everyone I know wants home made sh## ;-);-). I even made little O and I matching skirts. Life couldn't get much than this.

<3<3<3 hope everyone is doing well in thei blogging and ill be back on my reading commenting game now... Hopefully ;-);-)

Saturday, May 4, 2013

a sad day in Oli land

So today is a little bit of a sad day here in my home. My brother the bicyclist has left on his second trip. Yes this trip has been long awaited and put off many times, but its sad none the less.

My little Ol has loved having her uncle smoke stack around to keep the music alive and do silly dances for her. He is such a special person and not having him around all the time will just be so much less fun.

He has gone to Minnesota to  train to be a bicycle tour guide for long trips such as the one he is currently on. He is riding his bicycle from on the border of Maine and New Hampshire to Mnnesota, His last trip was from here to Florida. He sure does love his bicycle and seeing him leave this morning, though exciting in some ways, is just sad.

If you are on his route and you see him ride by be sure to wave or offer him your lawn to set up his tent ;-D. He only needs a small patch and he is a good kid.

Heres his picture:



Wednesday, May 1, 2013

my grill cleaning technique

So tonight my daughter went to her dads and I set out to bar b que some chicken.

We recently had to get a new grill because our old one had built up too much grease and was deteriorating all over the food. The new one has already collected a lot of grease as well so after grilling on a partially clean area I left the grill on a higher setting to cook off some of the grease and make it easier to clean with the brush. I went inside to give everyone the food and grab some for myself. After walking into the kitchen I got into a conversation with my brother who hurried me into the living room to watch kung fu with my dinner. Needless to say I FORGOT, that I had left the grill on... For an hour and a half!!!!!! Thankfully it shut itself off by running out of propane and was cooled down by the time I got out there. Ya I forgot my grill on for so long it ran out of propane and shut off, I feel really responsible. At least I didn't have my baby here. O would feel so awful being the mom who leaves the grill on all night. Well nothing burnt down and the grill is actually quite clean now. So it works! Kung fu grill cleaning at its best!! :-D:-D