We filed our papers and started the process. It was time to legal decide who gets O when. I hate the thought. She is a child and it feels so wrong to have to go through any of this, but id rather go through this then leave O without a father.
January 14 2013 2:00 pm room 3
O and I arrived at 1:30 because I wanted to make sure we made it there on time and we left ourselves enough time for whatever might come up (diaper, feeding you know whatever). We walked in and no one was at the metal detector nor was it on so we proceeded into the building and ask the lady at the window whether it was court room or conference room three and she informed me we wait in the waiting room and they would call our case. O and I went and paced the waiting room, where a man was sitting by himself and a couple was sitting together, they commented on how cute O is... Happens everywhere because she is the cutest little baby ever!! We didn't sit because I didn't want O to get upset and she still needed a nap. after a few moments a gentle man walked in and I looked at him wondering if he was the man from the state, and he was, he said are you Eva?
We went to a room down the hall where he told me about child support and tanf (temporary support for needy families). He asked a few questions about what K had provided and I told him "most things, diapers and wipes."
He asked where O was conceived and I answered Portsmouth, but then I second guessed myself... Yes conceived means sex but I got worried, that's a different state. So I did it, I asked and he gave a little laugh and responded "its a nice way of saying where did you two have sex." ha ha ha ha ... Yup im smart!
He asked if K was there as I left the room and I told him when he arrived I'd send him in.
It took long enough that we both ended up in the waiting room chatting when K showed up about 15 minutes before everything started. He was all dressed up and I must say this was the first time I wasn't attracted to his look. He barely smiled at me as he walked past and went with the man from the state. When they came out, after what seemed like forever, I was called back again. He let me know K had agreed to an amount and then showed me what it was and how much K made a year. After some conversation about it we went out into the waiting room again.
We only waited a short time for them to call us. The bailiff came saying "Bbb(Ks last name) ..." but we were ready so he didn't have to say much more. We followed him into court room 3 and he showed us where to sit. We took our places and I began to rock O in my seat... I didn't want her fussing in court. I felt so awkward sitting there with my baby having this serious moment with a man I was barely ever serious with.
The bailiff did his all rise thing and judge came in. Then he did his be seated thing. Court was in session... Okay here it goes... I took a breath. She looked over and saw my beautiful baby and of course we had to discuss how amazing she was and her gorgeous name ;-D... okay not so scary I guess.
The judge then told us there were four things we needed to answer
1. Who would make the primary medical decisions- we agreed to do that together
2. Child support- the man from the state had that
3. Where would Os primary residence be- my house we agreed
Then came number four... Of course there is a number four that I trip in and smash my face off of
4. Schedule (not courts words but I forgot what she said it was a little stressful ;-))- we looked at each other and both gave a little smile (finally seemed a little more normal since we rarely are serious if we aren't yelling at each other). We weren't sure if we agreed yet so I said well we have been doing Sunday 9 hrs and Tuesday we just started an overnight and she looked over with a surprised look and asked oh and how is that going to K and he replied good... Which he would have said that either way. All seemed good and she then asked " is that good then?"
Of course it cant be that easy! K looked at the judge and said well I would like a little more. I froze a little I wanted to disappear. I wasn't sure how serous things would get and I was scared it was serious suit style court time.
"okay," she looked at him "and what would you like?"
"um maybe another overnight, or some time on Thursdays?"
Well Thursdays I could do I guess but I didn't want to! I could do some time on Thursdays but not the overnight. I felt like I was about to get in trouble, but everyone agreed and the hours were set... Ouch how did I just let go of more time after we are just beginning Tuesdays?
Then she said I think that is it.
Again not that easy... how did I get stuck with this guy ;-P
K pulled out a lined paper I had given to him which had things on it that I was, and am, not willing to give him such as two overnights with our now 5 month old... ridiculous I know I was aiming for end of the year with that paper but I had written it.
"She was telling me that her friends had some other things in their agreement like..." he began to unfold the paper but I started talking first. I was nervous and I wanted to run ahead of him and pick the topics first, "vacations and grandparents rights?"
"Oh so are you guys saying you want more detail?"
We looked at each other again and he turned and said "ya I think we would"
So now we go to mediation... cant wait... super more court! We waited about 45 maybe more minutes for them to call us over with the new paperwork and we also were notified we would be attending kids first before our mediation date. I go on the 9th and he on the 2nd, I am not looking forward to spending 4 hours away from my adorable little ball of fun, but hopefully this will help me communicate better and maybe we will fight less often. so until February 13th enjoy my court blog